I could have gone to Portugal but because of my prostate problem I chose to go on holiday at the St John of Gods Hospital Retreat in Subiaco. I made a visit on Tuesday to look over the place. I met two nice ladies
who told me what to expect with the procedure as well as giving me a check-up. Despite being told all the in and outs of this 5 hour procedure my pulse rate was steady at 59 beats a minute.
So after a week or two of getting all heavy jobs done around the house, in my kayak shed, (I can't lift anything above 5kgs for 6 weeks
afterwards) having more blood tests, seeing a physiotherapist, continuing my pelvic floor exercises, and a day dieting, and taking a special powder mixture with water, the time has come to relax for a few days.
I enter the retreat at 11.00am on Thursday, when I will be shown to my room to relax. I will then be pampered for a couple of hours, given a nice fresh gown to wear and then I was told I will get an exciting ride in the bed. Apparently in the straight long corridors the bed will attain great speeds but most of the excitement comes on the corners. The bed has levers that lift it up and down and I believe I will be able to lift the bed
sideways so to take the corners faster.
Once I get into theatre I will have at least two other friendly professional people ask me a few questions, tell me about the experience that I’m going to go through and ensure me I won’t see or feel a thing. First though they will insert a tube in my arm, I will be slightly tilted head down, legs
up and within moments I will be dreaming pleasant thoughts.
So for 4-5 hours I will be dreaming of all the good things I have done in my life as well as some great things that are going to happen in the future. This period of sleep will be exciting. Meanwhile the professionals will be working on me, removing all the bad spirits
and ensuring that I have a better longer life in my old age.
Once the procedure is all over and the bad parts of me have gone I’m told I will wake up with a few more tubes hanging out of my body and a mask over my mouth. These are necessary to ensure the experience goes well and to make sure my transition from my deep sleep back to reality
is a smooth one.
I'm told I could be feeling a little sore and under the weather but the high speed ride on the bed back to a recovery room will dull any pain and when my system has fully recovered I will be given another ride back to my room where dinner will be served. Not only that, I will get a personal fluid bag to store my waste
water which I can keep for a week which is pretty exciting. It's like getting a prize after a race.
The following day I will be able to relax and be pampered and looked after
whilst I read, write, listen to music and laze around. This will be the highlight of my visit which I am looking forward to.
After a two night stay at the retreat I will be chauffeured home leaving my tranquil setting to enter the rat race again, heading through traffic lights and busy roads.
If I didn't have a nice home to go back to with a great view and Jenny to look after me, I'm sure it would be sad to leave the hospital retreat.